Happy Holidays! Broken Glass Cupcakes

Happy Halloween everyone!

I love Halloween. Next to Christmas, it's probably my favorite holiday. I love the fun, the costumes, the creepiness, and, of course, the food. So the more ways I can find to combine a few of those things together, the better, I say. And is there a better way, here, than to make fun, creepy food? I say stoutly, that no, there is not!

BEHOLD!!

MWA HA HA HAH HAA!!

::ahem::

Sorry, but I can't resist a little maniacal cackling in the kitchen now and then. Anyway, I saw a version of these on Facebook last year, after Halloween had already come and gone. But I was so enamored with the idea that I vowed on the spot that I would make them for next Halloween. I swore that nothing would stop me from creating these creepy little gems and sharing them with my friends and family.

Naturally, a year later, I almost forgot about them.

Luckily, I remembered in time, and I was able to put them together for a Halloween party. I am quite pleased to say that they were a big hit. As such I would like to share them with you. Though not the original method I saw last year, I thought that this version was the best one to try. As usual, you are welcome to follow along with me as I plow through.

THE INGREDIENTS!!!
The Cupcakes
1 box Red Velvet cake mix
Eggs (as per the cake mix, plus 1 egg)
Milk (substituted for the water in the mix)
Melted butter (twice as much as the oil called for in the mix)

The Frosting
1 8oz package cream cheese, softened
1 1/2cup stick butter, softened
1tsp vanilla
dash of salt
4cups powdered sugar
1cup white chocolate chips

The Candy Glass
1cup sugar
1/2cup light corn syrup
1-2tsp clear flavoring (I used clear artificial vanilla)

The Edible Blood
1 14oz can sweetened condensed milk
red food coloring
black food coloring
clear flavoring, to taste (I used raspberry)

THE METHOD!!!
To begin, make the candy glass. Cover a cookie sheet with parchment or wax paper. Stir the sugar and corn syrup together in a microwave-safe bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Microwave the sugar on high for 3 minutes. Carefully! remove the plastic wrap (beware of steam!) and stir in your flavoring. Recover with fresh plastic, then microwave for another 2-3 minutes. You have to watch it; if you let it go to long, the sugar will start to turn an amber color, and that means you've gone too far. For me, it took 2minutes 15seconds, and I think I could've gotten away with a bit less.

Working carefully!, remove the plastic wrap and pour out onto your cookie sheet. Spread slightly with a spoon or spatula, then set aside to harden. This will take several hours, hence doing it first. Once it's hardened, you can take a knife tip to it to break it into sharp (no, really, they are sharp!) little shards. Just place the knife tip down on the candy and gently but firmly tap down to break it up.

Next, make the edible blood. Mix everything together.

No, really, that's it. Just play with the colors until it looks like blood. I wanted a nice dark red, but I went through an entire tube of black gel and barely got it past pale red-colored-milk red. So use your best judgement.

To make the cupcakes, follow the instructions on the box. The method calls for a few easy substitutions, which I enumerated above, all of which I recommend. Add an extra eggs. Sub out an equal amount of milk for the water. Use double the amount of melted butter as oil. (Mine called for 1/3cup oil, so I measured out 2/3 cup butter and melted it gently in the microwave). Other than that, I recommend you find some cool black and white paper cups. On mine, the red velvet cake actually turned the white paper red, which I thought looked pretty damn cool.

Last, make the frosting. Beat the cream cheese, butter, vanilla and salt together on medium speed until smooth. Incorporate the powdered sugar a cup at a time, and beat until combined. Melt the white chocolate in the microwave (go in 20-30 second increments, stirring in between. It only took me two rounds to get it smooth), and mix that in as well. If desired, but it in a piping bag (or a ziplock with the corner cut out so a piping tip can peak through) and get ready to decorate!

To create your creepily wonderful cakes, frost each cool cake as desired. I used a star tip in a ziplock bag, as I said, and went in tight spiral, getting a double layer of frosting on each cake. Next, insert a few shards of candy glass at odd or violent angles. Finally, go to town with the blood! You can put it in another bag, sure, or you can do what I did. Dip a fork in the blood, lift, and then flick the resulting drizzle across cake, frosting, and glass alike. Remember, these are supposed to be tasty and creepy, so think blood spatter and gore here. After all, you want to get into the holiday spirit, right?

These were a lot of fun to make and eat. The cake turned out nice and moist, and just dense enough to really have some good body to them. The glass turned out great, even if I did make it a smidgen too dark. The blood was also tasty, if not quite the shade of red I wanted. But the frosting... now that was the best. Lightly rich, not at all saccharine, with hints of cream cheese tang and white chocolate sweetness. It was perfect for these cakes. Like I said, they went over really well at the party, and I will definitely be making them next year!

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this little piece of my insanity. As always, thoughts and comments are appreciated, and thanks for reading!

Deep Fried Goodness: Fish & Chips

Hey everyone!

So yeah, been a while since my last post, hasn't it? Rather than hang my head in shame, I will carry on with business as usual. I ought to get one of those "Keep Calm" shirts... "Keep calm and cook something!" I wonder if that actually exists...?

Where was I? Ah, yes. Cooking and talking about it.

Anyway, guess what? I bought a deep fryer!

Now, I know what some of you are going to say... probably some variation of, "WTF?" I expect. No matter, though. Maybe some of you will think I'm crazy for acquiring such a device, but let me offer you this counterargument: I get to fry things now.

I've wanted one for a while, so I finally decided to bite the culinary bullet and pick one up. At first, I had buyer's remorse, I admit, but then I realized how many different dishes I could create with the bloody thing, so I got over it quick enough. And for my first foray into deep frying, I decided to go with a classic: Fish and Chips.

As per usual, you can follow along with my inspiration, here.

THE INGREDIENTS!!!

4 large baking potatoes
2 cups AP flour
1 tbs baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
a good few dashes Old Bay seasoning
~1.5 bottles Shiner Bock beer (or similar dark brown brew)
1-1.5 lbs white fish (I used frozen tilapia fillets, sliced in half)
cornstarch (for dredging)

THE METHOD!!!
To begin, cut your potatoes into vaguely french fry shaped strips by whatever method you choose. I just took my chef's knife and cut them in half lengthwise. Then I cut each half in half again, and cut each quarter into about four strips. Once you have your taters cut to size, soak them in cold water for at least 15 minutes to remove excess starch. When they're done soaking, they'll need to be dried as thoroughly as possible, either with towels or a salad spinner.

Meanwhile, make your batter. Combine the flour, baking powder, salt, pepper, and Old Bay together in a bowl. Then add the beer. I started with one bottle of beer and found it wasn't enough, so I added more until it got a nice gooey-batter consistency. Imagine the consistency of cake batter, and you have it right. Once this is made, give it about a 10 minute rest in the fridge, just so that the flour can absorb all that delicious beer.

Ok, now begins the frying. Get your oil to about 325 degrees and your oven to about 200 degrees. All will be made clear. Working in batches, fry the potatoes for about 2-3 minutes or until pale and floppy. Remove from the oil, drain on paper towels, and set aside to cool to room temp. This is only the first frying; the second time in will get them crispy and GBD.

Raise the oil temp to 350 and get your fish ready. Dredge each piece lightly in cornstarch, being sure to remove any excess powder. Then, submerge the fish in your batter, coating evenly. Gently introduce the fish into the oil; don't just drop them in or they'll sink to the bottom of the pot and stick. Once the batter sets, flip them over with a metal instrument of your choice (I used a spatula, but you can use tongs, a fork, a flute, whatever's handy), and cook until GBD. This'll take about 2-3 minutes. Once they're done, drain them and set them on a pan in your warm oven while you finish the fries.

Raise the oil temp again, this time to 375. Working in batches again, fry your potatoes for 2-3 minutes or until GBD. Remove from the oil, drain, salt, and consume. Oh yeah, and get the fish outta the oven too. I like my fried fish with malt vinegar, personally.

THE AFTERMATH!!!
Ok, so this was a fairly simple method. But simple does not equate to easy, now does it? The challenge here was learning patience, and understanding that I couldn't do everything all at once. Next time, I need to use smaller potato slices (like cutting the ones I had in half) and work in smaller batches so that the fries crisp up a little better.

But, in the end, everything turned out pretty good. The outside of the fish was very crisp and savory, and the fish itself was perfectly cooked without being dry. I would perhaps consider using different fish the next time though, since I thought the tilapia was slightly too soft.

But perhaps I'm being overly critical of myself.

I know; me. Shocking, isn't it?

Anywho, thanks as always for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading about it as much as I enjoyed making it.